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Glass of bubbly in one hand and the other clamped firmly on my thigh, the man sitting opposite lunged forward, muttered something under his breath and gave me a slobbery kiss. Here I was on a first date and all I wanted to do was run out of the restaurant screaming. I’d only seen a blurry photo of him and had a brief online chat but he seemed decent enough.

Meeting him face to face was a different matter, however.

“His pictures showed him skiing, him on vacation, always clothed and doing something active,” she says.

“I thought, ‘This must be an OK person,’ especially when everyone else was so creepy.

As I looked at the photos of my prospective mates, I was pleasantly surprised by the wonderful men looking for love.

There they were posing on the beach, standing by flashy cars or quaffing wine in top restaurants.

” Here are some of the answers I received: “Faithful, kind, attentive, honest, a true friend, appreciative, loyal.” These are some pretty lofty expectations, but at the same time, shouldn’t the traits listed above be standard?

In this week’s “Love Essentially,” (published yesterday in Sun-Times Media local papers–first print edition, by the way!!

) I give dating advice on things you can do to avoid losers and attract “the one.” Jackie, What do you think we should do for ourselves to draw a healthy, stable, loving relationship into our life? I will never forget the time I was at a restaurant and began talking to a woman who said her boyfriend was outside getting the car. The woman, who instantly transformed from relaxed and happy to tense and worried, started to say good-bye when I asked her if she’d like to stay here with me, along with the girlfriend I was meeting. She declined, at which point I said, “No offense, but why are you with that guy?

Is it me, or is this a nicer way of asking, “How can I avoid picking complete losers and meet someone who is normal and who treats me well? In other words, why do people lower their standards and accept men and women who aren’t the yogurt flavors and toppings they really want? They have low self-confidence and think they are lucky that someone actually likes them. They lack self-love and feel that this is the way they deserve to be treated. As women tend to do, she and I began chatting non-stop, only to be interrupted by a very rude guy standing in the doorway with an angry face, shouting, “Let’s go, woman! ” The woman replied, “Because I’m in the my 50s and I don’t want to be single.” As she walked off, the guy shot me a dirty look and then began yelling at her.

” In answer to this question, I first I want to ask: Why is it that when we go into one of those self-serve frozen yogurt places, like Menchie’s or Cocomero or Pinkberry that we sample different flavors before choosing the ones we want in our cup? So, why can’t we act the same when it comes to choosing Mr. I sat there with a look on my face probably resembling a little kid whose parents just told him there’s no Santa Claus.




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